Okay, well… that was a disaster. I feel awful. I want to curl up into a ball and die. I briefly considered pouring water on myself, but fortunately, the mood passed.
Here’s what happened. I walked in through the front doors of one of the banks. I cackled as I told the teller I wished to meet with a banking executive, to discuss our best evil plans for the future. She started laughing. I didn’t understand why. I thought my cackling was sufficiently evil-sounding. Evidently not.
They wouldn’t even meet with me. I was told, on no uncertain terms, that the banking executives wouldn’t share my interests, I had no chance, and I was wasting my time. I think she thought I was a joke.
I didn’t know what to do after that. I kind of just… wandered around for a bit. It had started raining, so I pulled out my umbrella. Finally sat down by a statue of some guy named “Duffy” to collect my thoughts and write this post.
This world is all wrong. Where I’m from, it’s fun to be evil. Good people expect it of you. It’s this dance that we do; they play their part, we play ours, everybody has fun (I do, at least) and nothing unexpected happens. The conflict between good and evil has a point. Here, evil is meaningless. And the evil people don’t realize they’re evil. They don’t have a chance to enjoy it or revel in it, cause they’re too busy thinking they’re right.
I need to win this election, to set things right. But if I can’t…
Well, I don’t even want to think about that right now.