In the past several weeks, I have conducted various experiments with a substance called alcohol, specifically focusing on what happens when it enters the body in large quantities. Apparently, the answer is you wind up in a country where you don’t speak the language. I am just glad I brought a smartphone with me…though I must say, I can’t recall when or where I obtained it.
I don’t remember how I got to Sao Paolo, nor how I found myself the sole proprietor of a cactus shoppe, but it’s taken me up until now to reach the borders of the States again. The border guards are hesitant to let me back in, seeing as I am lacking a passport. The oafs are apparently unaware that I was a presidential candidate.
I find myself stuck in Mexico.
EDIT: These smartphones are too tiny to use with real hands! It took me ages to figure out how to do the accents in the phone. The city was actually São Paulo.